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Heavens he’s grumpy

Mythankfulboy is over this whole study-for-finals thing.  Between that and another baseball loss, this time with one of his favorite people, CB, visiting to witness a not-so-stellar game, the edge has been ground off his usual enthusiastic approach to the world.  It could be hormones descending, too, but I’ll withhold judgment on that until school is out.  He’s not argumentative or sarcastic, but he’s tired and withdrawn.

I hesitated last night to start the chalice discussion, but, really, the hard nights are the most important, so I persevered.  He said he was thankful that finals were almost over, and then he sat, trying to think of something more positive (or so it appeared) and resigned himself to just not feeling it.  I was thankful to have been along the path of CB’s road trip, and for her going to B’s baseball game with us.

Now, it should be noted that B has the best bed in the house, and so it is the guest bed, making his room the guest room.  I have sleep issues that make the couch my preferred sleep spot.  That left my bed as the logical place for B to sleep last night, but he decided he’d sleep in a chair in the living room instead.  Around 3 am I woke to his repeatedly hitting his head against the arm of the chair in apparent frustration that he couldn’t sleep.  I told him to join me on the couch (I had my feet out on an ottoman, so there was space), and he trudged over with a blanket and curled up with his feet against my hip and fell asleep.  In the morning I should have gotten up earlier than I did, but he was sleeping peacefully, and I chose to savor the moment before he got up with his grumpy self.  Send him (and me) peace in these final days of finals.

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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A-hole moments

I have a darling friend who called me recently from her car in a Walmart parking lot to say “I need to talk to you because I’m being an a-hole”. Well, she used the whole word. You may not associate the word “darling” with the word “a-hole”, but then you don’t know my friend. She is warm and kind, smart and funny. She listens ferociously, and is careful with word and gesture. She is very aware when stuff is hanging out, and tends to tackle it head on. Despite the fact that she can cuss like a sailor then sing you a psalm, she has a quiet, reserved, way of being in the world.

My friend was having an a-hole parenting moment. We all have them. This weekend I was not feeling well. Sinus and ear infections yet to be diagnosed had me tired and quick to frustration without being sure I was really sick. I slammed doors, threw around a few choice words, bit my child’s head off a few times. I also cried, and I even stamped my feet once. In an effort to buy myself some room to get things done, and to force myself to behave like an adult, I told B that he could have a friend over to spend the night. It went beautifully. I was polite – maybe even charming. I got very little done, though, and felt myself sinking again when he left. And the whole time I felt guilty. Guilty! How could I be such an a- hole!

The night of the sleepover, at our chalice lighting, B was thankful to have his friend over. The next night he was thankful – get this – that I “fake it so well” when I’m sick. Holy cannoli. I got a good laugh from that, and he looked at me with one eyebrow raised. I said “Oh Honey. Really? I’ve been so grumpy!” He said “Yeah, but, like, you’re laughing now, and you let my friend come over, and you try not to be grumpy! When I’m sick I don’t even smile!”

Just goes to show that love conquers all. Even those a-hole moments.

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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