Tag Archives: Grampy

By the light of the cell phone

Tax day. Or, rather, tax night. Last night we did our thankfulness ritual by the light of the upheld cell phone driving home from the post office. Not so picturesque, perhaps, but we have always had some of our best discussions between the driver’s seat and the car seat. Like last night, when he gave a negative outlook on something and I asked “Is the glass half empty or half full?”, and he responded, “That would be both, right?”

Tonight he must have had many things on his mind he wasn’t talking about. He was thankful for puns (he’s mine alright!), for Ferry Beach (the amazing Unitarian Universalist beach camp we visit each summer), and for Grampy (who passed away about this time last year). I was thankful for his being an independent thinker.

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Posted by on April 18, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Books. Oh yeah. Books

B has had a few nightmares recently around his dad’s being sad about his own father’s death, and has been a little needier of my presence.  Last night we talked more at length than we usually do about things for which we were grateful.  B started with his dad and I and his Grampy, then moved on to a few items he can’t find right now – a titanium necklace I gave him for being in the baseball playoffs last spring, and two yo yo’s.  Last, he turned to music, and finally it hit him: “Books. Oh yeah. Books.”  Me too, Buddy.

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Posted by on September 30, 2011 in Uncategorized


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His dad

Yesterday was one of those REALLY LONG DAYS that began with school for B and work for me, and ended with a baseball game that stretched past bedtime.  Then, B’s dad arrived home from having been gone for a week putting his dad’s “affairs in order”, and wanted to see B.  So, from the baseball field we went to his dad’s house.  They were so glad to see each other.  His dad showed B some of Grampy’s things, and shared a few things that happened on the trip, and he brought B a kid’s leatherman.  It was a brief reunion, since we still had homework and a shower and the nightly stuff to do, but it was worth it.  Last night B was simply thankful for “my dad”.

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Posted by on September 16, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Pour me a beer

Tonight B was thankful again for his Grampy.  I asked him to tell me something specific about his Grampy that he loved or missed, and, at first, he said “I don’t know — I just love him and I didn’t want him to die.”  I asked if I could offer something I loved about him, and said that he was one of the gentlest people I had ever met.  This started a conversation about him, which ended with B laughing and remembering Grampy’s heavy accent as he asked his sweetheart if she would “po-ah Chahlie a beeyah”.  I remember Grampy as a down-to-earth, but stone-sober gentleman, which makes this memory particularly funny.  I am thankful to smile about Grampy tonight.

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Posted by on September 13, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Saying the right thing

Grampy passed away, and B has been thankful for him every night since, with differing degrees of process, and different amounts of emotion.  As he struggles with what to feel, he also struggles with what to say to his dad, who is there for the funeral while B is here for school.  Today he worried that he didn’t say the right thing.  Saying the right thing is such a hard thing to learn how to do — it’s really something we never fully master, because we are always thrust into new circumstances with new people, and what might be good for one situation might be devastating in another.  I’m proud of him for working so hard at it.

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Posted by on September 12, 2011 in Uncategorized


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I spoke to B on the phone today, and he was thankful for his grandfather’s being out of intensive care.  What seemed yesterday to be impossible today happened — Grampy got better.  It is hard to know if, when getting better means going back to a life of being bed-ridden in a nursing home and dependent on others for everything, this is really something to be thankful for.  I think the only way to know that is to know what Grampy wants, and I don’t know that, so I will stick with B’s being thankful for Grampy’s recovery.  I am also thankful that B will be home soon.

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Posted by on September 3, 2011 in Uncategorized


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