Tag Archives: Crossfit

The smell of your sweet noggin

“Momma!  I got straight A’s!”

“B!  That’s great!”

“Exce…pt for a B in Library.”

“Really, B?  Library?”

“I guess I kept forgetting to turn in a book.”

Sigh.  In the grand scheme of things, in 7th grade, this is not a terrible thing.  It’s even amusing.  We’re going to have to work on it for high school, though.  Lots and lots of gaming going on, because now it’s all about multi-player quests, and they take time.  Now if I need or want him to stop, I have to give him half-an-hour’s worth of notice or he risks letting a team of people down.  And he has begun planning his evenings around them (as in, “So, what’s on the agenda tonight?  I need about an hour to game, and I know it’s trash night.  I finished my homework at school.  Anything else?”)  Again, at least he’s being conscientious, and I’m learning to say “Yes – be done by 9 so I can have a little time with you and we can do the chalice.”  This is more effective than whining, and feels better to me, too, because it is respectful of his approach to things.  Even if I feel like whining.

As B prepared for bed tonight, he came bouncing into my room and rocked foot-to-foot as he told me about his evening quest and the team he had put together and the game money he had earned and on what he hoped to spend it.  He was so bouncy, that as he left the room to go brush his teeth he couldn’t seem to get his regular gait right, and I laughed and asked him about his “bouncing booty”.  He said that he was no longer in charge — that his booty had taken over!  I told him that I was glad there was no body-shaming in our household (as he bounced about in his black tightie whities), and he said, “Nope – I own this booty!”  The term “booty” is borrowed from my nephew down south – he loves to comment about peoples’ clothes being too tight or too short, and the effects they have on the associated “booties”.  This began when he was a toddler, when it was particularly funny.  I told B that I should videotape him and send it to M.  This ended the booty bounce-a-thon and got him moving forward towards brushing his teeth.

In our few-minutes-after-nine tonight, Mythankfulboy curled up beside me on my bed, where I had been reading.  We talked about his day and he asked about mine.  He has a close friend who teases him a lot who is out of town for a few days, and he says school is a lot less stressful when he’s gone.  He says it’s still worth the friendship, and I can only watch and hope.  He talked about another friend who he said “is the most generous kid I know” (isn’t that a great thing for someone to say about you?), but who he worries is being taken advantage of by some people.  We discussed ways he could look out for this friend.  He said he’s writing an essay on his hero, and he can’t wait for me to read it when it’s done.  I asked him for what he was thankful, and he said he was thankful Crossfit was over and he could get back to dodgeball.  I said I was thankful for the smell of his sweet noggin.  He said, “That’s weird.”  Yeah, I think only your momma, and perhaps your daddy, revels in the attachment she feels when she sticks her nose in your hair and breaths deeply.  He’ll get that one day.

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Posted by on February 6, 2015 in Uncategorized


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Bed for boy and dog

2-hour delay (as he wished), after school activities cancelled, and Crossfit cancelled.  The wind howled outside and we made our nests inside, mythankfulboy at his console and me at my fire.  I joined him briefly at his activity of choice, and he showered when I told him to and switched from gaming to Youtube (trade up? down?) for a while before we switched to spelling.  Tonight the words “firmament”, “palliative”, and “terra-cotta” eluded him and went on sticky notes.  The dog was on his bed for the second night in a row.  This is something I have said no to for, oh, 7 years or so, and suddenly this week I heard myself saying, “See if you can get him up there”.  When I change my mind about something, I often find out about it along with everyone else.  But, the dog slept through the night for the first time in years, and so I’m going with it.

I just jinxed myself, didn’t I?

We lit the chalice and our thanksgivings were quick and easy.  B was thankful the dog could sleep on his bed, and I was thankful the dog was sleeping on his bed so I could stay in mine.  May it be so.

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Posted by on February 2, 2015 in Uncategorized


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And you’re beautiful

I had a brief reprieve from working every evening and every weekend day, but I’ve had to return to it.  It’s tiring, and I always notice the toll it takes first when I don’t find myself able to post about our evening thankfulness ritual.  That’s a shame, surely, but we do always do the chalice-lighting itself, which is the most important part.

In the last several days, we’ve been thankful for everything from shovelable snow (versus snow to your waist) to good neighbors, from school delays to a three-night History Channel documentary on Samuel Adams and his rabble rousers, from Crossfit to the new YMCA in town.  Mythankfulboy has made me proud enumerable times, but, in particular, for stopping gaming with a happy heart to go out and help a neighbor shovel her drive before the sun set, and for helping a different neighbor with letting the dog out when she had to work late.  He also melted my heart when, as we turned a corner towards home in the car at dusk one evening, he said, “Momma, the sun on your face makes you glow, and you’re beautiful.”

I rewarded his shoveling by knocking $5 off of a sum he owed me.  I do this intermittently, because I want him to be rewarded, but I don’t want him to expect a reward every time he does something good.  I made sure he knew it was not only for doing the work, but for doing it with pleasure (what we call a “happy heart”).  Plus, I happen to know, as a developmentalist who works with kids with learning differences, that intermittent reinforcement is the most powerful (as my friends say, he never really had a chance to be bad…).   When he said I was beautiful, I gave an involuntary “you’re the sweetest thang” face, and then I screwed it up in a goofy face and said, “How about now?” as a car passed by, the driver staring at me.  B waited until the car had passed, chuckled, and said, “I just looked at the guy like, I don’t know, man.”

Beauty abounds in our hearts and our actions.  Most of our actions, anyway.  May it be so.

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Posted by on January 29, 2015 in Uncategorized


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It’s not generous when it’s love

Mythankfulboy has had his dance card full lately, and I am the chauffeur.  Well, his friends’ parents and me.  I am more than willing, though, because it is very much worth it to keep this group of exceptional boys together.  The downside, of course, is that any opportunity to see a friend over his old-hat momma is now taken, and I don’t see as much of him as I used to.  Part of the process.  I won’t complain (too) much.

So tonight when we sat down to do our evening thankfulness ritual, I started by saying, “Hi!”  He laughed and said it back in imitation.  We talked about what we’d done over the weekend, and he filled me in on two accomplishments at Crossfit: being able to jump and touch the second-highest bar (I’m not entirely sure what that means, but it was something he couldn’t do until tonight) and being able to climb the rope using only his arms (no feet, no ladder, no hot air balloon).  I have more of a reference for that, and all I could think was, “Woah. That’s remarkable.”  I said something more like, “No you didn’t!!!” with a high 5.

When we got around to thankfulness proper, I said I was thankful for my fireplace, where I spend a lot of time.  He said, “I know you are!”  I added that I was also thankful for our friends C and J who were up from the southland this weekend and with whom we had dinner. He said, “Mmmm. Me too.”  During dinner, I had made a sincere offer to be a back-up guardian for this friend’s children (after a family member who already has the primary job), and B had surprised me by immediately, enthusiastically, piping up and saying, “Yeah!  I could always move to my dad’s to make room.”  I was flabbergasted.  There was not only the offer to share his mom and his space, but to move in with his stepfamily, which is not his favorite place to be.  I fully realize that this was an easy offer to make, since it is very unlikely to happen, but the speed with which he made it made me think he didn’t think about that.  So, during the chalice lighting, just after we talked about being thankful for these friends, I said I was also thankful that he had such a generous nature.  I went on to say that he had surprised me with his offer.  He said, as though it were all there was to it, “I love them.”

And you know, it really is that simple.  Blessed be.

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Posted by on January 19, 2015 in Uncategorized


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A quiet night at home, mythankfulboy gaming and me working (both home and office).  A heavy heart about work held a pall over the place.  B was understanding.  Whenever I tell him any bad news about the office, he assumes it will impact us severely from a financial standpoint (this probably will not), so the first words out of his mouth were “You don’t have to buy me a birthday present, Momma.”  God bless him.

He has decided he’s enjoying sleeping on the couch, so he got cozied down and the dog joined him on his side-saddle ottoman, and we sat quietly for a moment or two.  I broke the silence by saying I was thankful for a quiet night at home, and for his doing his chores without being asked.  He said he was thankful for crossfit, for a night off from crossfit, and for cars.  “Cars?  What about cars?” I asked.  “Just that they can get us so many places” he answered.

Sometimes simple is best.  Blessed be.

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Posted by on January 14, 2015 in Uncategorized


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11 kisses

Tonight, a blissfully normal night.  Mythankfulboy’s baseball crossfit finished our evening out before turning home for showers and tying up loose ends.  Just before we sat down for the chalice lighting, B announced that he had received an award for being the fastest typist in 7th grade.  I’m not sure exactly why this has been a goal of his, but I’m always glad to see him set and achieve goals, so I cheered.  He said, “And you know what I get for that, right?”

Ever since he was little and really could not yet reliably count to 11, we awarded one another 11 kisses for good things, and also sometimes for fails that weren’t that important.  For instance: “If I go in there and find it when you’ve looked and are SURE it’s not there, you’re in for 11 kisses, Mister.”  I’m not sure how this started, particularly because it seems like it would encourage bad behavior, but I guess the over-the-top, albeit silly, attention is just embarrassing enough to make a point.  This was particularly fun when he couldn’t count to 11, because I could sneak in extra numbers.  Tonight he wanted 11 kisses for being a good typist.

I asked for what he was thankful, and he said “crossfit”.  I said I was thankful for JF, who cuts our hair, and also happens to be a wonderful human and very good momma.  B said, “She’s pretty cool. And I bet she says the same thing about you.”

“Oh yeah?”  I challenged.   “Yeah!” he defended.   “Well that’s IT!” and 11 kisses ensued, with one more for good measure.

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Posted by on December 17, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Sugar plums and choke holds

Mythankfulboy and I seemed to have an easier routine this evening, even though it was no different than any other Wednesday.  So, we settled down in his room to do the chalice lighting, this time to the music of a Christmas music box shaped like the old-time tv of  my youth, showing a sparkly winter scene with ice skaters and a train that circles in and out of a tunnel.  Dobby the Christmas elf was peacefully seated beside the tv, enjoying the music, too (he had a rough evening – the dog got hold of him as he was traversing the living room to get to the peaceful perch by the music box, but he’s okay).  B said he was thankful for his music box, for Dobby, for his fan, and for Crossfit.  I said I was thankful that people are not letting go of the deaths of two unarmed black men (one really a boy) at the hands of the police that were justified somehow by internal investigations.  That maybe people will keep standing up and being heard about this.  That it cannot keep happening, though it’s been happening so long.  B said “You’re right.  I’m mad about it.”

I know mythankfulboy is too young and white to understand yet, but this is the world that he lives in, and he needs to understand it so that he is ready to change it.   As UU’s, our first tennet is “The inherent worth and dignity of every person”.  Forget the other principles about peace and justice and compassion and the democratic process.  Worth and dignity are where the rubber meets the road.  So, tonight I am thankful that there is public protest against violence against black men and boys at the hands of the police, and public discussion that black lives matter.  As mythankfulboy and I curl up safe in our beds with the music box painting visions of sugar plums in our heads, this disparity is not lost on me.

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Posted by on December 4, 2014 in Uncategorized


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