I haven’t posted in July because we took our annual camp vacation to Ferry Beach (UU conference center in Maine) where we are relatively unplugged, because my computer refused to turn on upon my return, and because, when it was fixed, I had an injured thumb (healing, thanks). In terms of this blog, all of that was kinda okay, because something significant happened that I needed to process.
Mythankfulboy found out about mythankfulboy.com.
Here’s how it happened. B got his first phone before we left. We share an apple ID, so when he loaded all his stuff from his iPod, he happened to also load all the “notes” from my phone. I often dictate posts into notes while driving to work, and he noticed one and read it. Setting aside that he probably shouldn’t have read it when he knew it wasn’t his, he must have realized that it was a blog, and he searched and found it on the web. He then mentioned it to a group of his peers at camp, and they read some of the posts. He didn’t mention it to me. I found out because, on the last day of camp, the kids in B’s youth group all signed pieces of paper for one another that said something nice in farewell. After camp, we extended our vacation by going to a friend’s mountain house (thanks KS and JSH!) Early in the extended portion of the trip KS found B’s paper in her car on our way out to breakfast (just she and me – the boys were still sleeping) so we took it in with us to see what his friends had said. His friends had all called him “MTB”, and then one person wrote out “Mythankfulboy”, which made it clear that he, and they, knew about the blog, stopping my heart for a moment. Reading further, someone included a quote from the blog. My friend and I looked at each other in stunned silence. My heart raced. B knew, and he hadn’t told me he knew.
Fast forward to our return to the house to find the boys up and about. Without planning, it, we nonchalantly separated them and found out what they knew. J said that B had openly shared with friends, and that it was very personal. B said the same, although I don’t know if he thought much about it being very personal. I asked B if he had gotten teased, and he said a little bit, but that someone in the group had said that it was cool, and that he wished his mom loved him enough to write about him that way (I doubt this boy felt at all worried about how much his mom loved him – I think he was just saying that he understood that it was written in love). B seemed fine with their reactions. He said he hadn’t told me because he didn’t want me to stop writing, or to change what I wrote. We both got tearful, and I knew we were okay.
So, now I start a new chapter of MTB (I love the new abbreviation), which is the chapter in which my 14-year-old boy may just read what I write in real time. It changes the dynamic, although I’ll try not to let it. Knowing B, he’ll probably get bored with the whole thing, it effectively being a re-hashing of what has already happened. I suppose it remains to be seen, but I’ll keep you posted. Literally.
During the blog’s hiatus, we continued to hold our evening thankfulness ritual, sometimes with a lit chalice and sometimes without. Here are the things I remember that we said:
- Our favorite hotel and pizza joint on the way to the beach
- Our friends at Ferry Beach
- Ferry Beach RE week and the conference center, itself
- Finally being in the Senior Youth group
- Sacred Seeing and its participants (a course KS and I taught for the first time at camp)
- Our friends KS and JSH sharing their beautiful home with us and extending their vacation in order to do so
- Friends who kept our dog while we were gone
- RL and his family taking B on a family trip to a cabin
- Movies in movie theaters
- Batting cage
- OR for pitching baseballs in the batting cage
- Sleeping in
- Mythankfulboy, now and always.